It’s an era of equal rights, equal opportunities, and general equality that women have actively crusaded for throughout the past century, determined to shed the opinion, once and for all, that they were the "weaker sex." As a society, we’ve secured egalitarian suffrage rights, campaigned aggressively for closure of the pay gap, and continually come closer to ensuring that gender is never a factor in determining individual capability. And yet we’re still under the impression that it’s the guy’s responsibility to pay for everything, hold open doors, and act as though his significant other needs his assistance in virtually every arena: treatment that can only be classified as preferential.

This is especially true around Prom, or any social function, for that matter. Around the same time that the hopeful askers show up with bouquets of flowers and elaborate posters, the inevitable question of whose wallet will cover the expenses likewise surfaces, and it’s not uncommon to hear girls confidently state, "Oh, he’s paying for it." This would make sense if their male counterparts were still the traditional breadwinners, but in a nation that doesn’t merely encourage female representation in higher education, but expects it, today’s young women have countless opportunities to achieve their own success in the workplace. So what’s with the stereotype?

Chivalry used to have a slightly different connotation in the old days; it was an institution of virtue, courtly love, and of course, the idolization of women: knights would place their ladies on an untouchable pedestal and vow to honor them to the best of their ability. Understandably, these aspects (particularly the last one) continue to appeal to us—after all, who wouldn’t want to be valued so highly? But this was a different time period, one in which women had limited rights, a time in which marrying well and becoming a loyal housewife were all the average girl could ever hope to achieve. Chivalry was simply compensation for this lack of basic equality; the alleged divine status was really only an illusion.

I’ve heard innumerable complaints that "guys are jerks," that true gentlemen are a dying breed fast being eclipsed by the deadbeat. In reality, that depends on your definition of gentleman. Sure, it’s not as common these days to see a guy rushing to hold open a door for every girl who crosses his path, but there are plenty of genuinely nice guys out there, though they show it in more subtle ways. They’re the ones who don’t differentiate based on gender, who recognize that two X chromosomes do not define you, who’ll gladly have an in-depth conversation with you about multivariable calculus and won’t assume that you’re too ignorant to understand it.

Of course it’s nice to be treated like a princess, but we can take care of ourselves now. We’re self-sufficient beings capable of accomplishing any goal we desire—both the law and contemporary social attitudes are on our side. So why settle for any less? Is that what we truly want or deserve, or do we merit recognition as equals, rather than inferiors? In many ways, that’s a far better compliment than the most admiring words of flattery.

April 1 has come and gone, and with the exception of a few of us on waitlists or trying desperately to appeal for just one more shot, the cards for the next four or so years of our lives have been all but dealt. Our big envelopes sit in front of us, with their attractive "Congratulations!" and bright colors. Some of us have a stack of these, a pile taller than textbooks, while others have just a few. No matter the number, at the end of the month, we’ll only be able to pick one college to attend. Just one. Where in the world am I going to go next year? So we need to find out what matters most to us, what factors are going to determine our lives for the next four years. This decision could potentially alter our lives forever, but it might be a bit overdramatic of me to say so. Maybe right now we don’t know what we want from this, but we’re going to find out, if only because there’s no other choice.

There are so many things in our lives that we take for granted, the absence of which could make dramatic differences in our day to day activities. Are there vegetarian meal choices? Are you deathly allergic to all sorts of nuts, barring the human kind? Is the campus wired with wi-fi? Do you not know how to ride a bike? But aside from personal quirks and idiosyncrasies are other things of importance. Like libraries—you know, the place that you will ostensibly get some studying done. Number, specialization, comfort level of chairs, and proximity of desks to each other. And social life. Life being the operative word and basically the question is whether it’s dead or alive. Sports teams, or lack thereof, and, in tandem, level of school spirit might factor in as well. Want a potential soul mate? Factor in those gender ratios, too. The different things each college has to offer seems to be as impossible to solve as a puzzle with infinite pieces, with each fitting together to create a completely different result. But remember that these colleges want you and that’s a nice feeling to relish once in a while.

But the thing about these situations is that you can never know if something is truly a pro or a con until you experience it. As a rule, things sound good on paper. Maybe not so much in real life. And where the ever-handy pro-con chart falters is the magnitude. Stadium-style classes may seem inviting to some slackers, but the ease of skipping class remains unparalleled by the benefits of an interactive education. And at the end of the day, the whole purpose of college is, well, the education aspect. But the small facets of everyday life combine to form a solid home away from home, a comfortable place to learn and thrive.

But sometimes, after countless hours lining up those pros and cons before deciding on the absolute perfect fit for you, the choice might not even be yours to make at all. In spite of the fact that we are all practically adults now, the parental figures still have far more authority than we’d like, the authority to all but make this life altering decision for us—just because they control the purse strings. And in the case in which your parents don’t want you to go, there’s no way to win. Though you can easily see through their transparently fallacious arguments, their true reason for limiting your horizons and sending you to a specific school lies deep within them. They themselves may not even be conscious of it, but with that buried deep down inside, there’s no hope for a victory on your part.

So maybe the choice was clear from the start. Maybe it evolved out of careful thinking. Maybe you will end up flipping a coin. Maybe you’ll fall in love and have your hopes and dreams shattered by forces you can’t control. The whole college decision process has been so unpredictable thus far—how could we expect the very final decision to be any different? But I firmly believe that the places we end up, though they may not be where we expect, will be the right ones for us. It’s unclear now what the future holds, but one day we’ll know that this particular turn of events was appropriate. But, of course, we’ll forever wonder about everything that might have, could have, would have been.