A Lesson From Professor Turkey
Friday, 04 December 2009 04:26
Sally Chung
Gobble, Gobble, Professor Turkey here! The holiday I’ve been dreading is back again and what do I have to be thankful for? Nothing. Call me pessimistic, but seriously, you have many things to be thankful for compared to me. You get to see your live relatives fly in for the holiday while I get to be reunited with mine-dead. While you and your relatives indulge in a feast, I have to listen to your ignorant conversation. This dead turkey will liven up your holiday chatter by teaching you some vocabulary.
1. Pilgrims - These cocky-headed New Englanders think they’re so cool. Oh, I’m sorry, should I be more appreciative? Fine. Thank you, Pilgrims, for invading our peaceful shores. Thanks to you, turkeys are only for stuffing and roasting.
“As the greedy pilgrim that I am, it took all of my strength, which wasn’t much, to refrain from devouring the entire turkey in the middle of the dinner table.”
2. Snood - For being such helpful creatures, God rewarded us with these flaps of skin that cover our beaks. They keep our beaks warm for the winter, and the color makes them excellent Christmas light decorations.
“On Christmas, I thought I saw Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but it was actually a turkey on the roof with its snood lit up.”
3. Gobblers - We’re these magnificent male turkeys and oh, what a vision we are! Our wide range of colored feathers are the envy of other birds.
“The gobbler’s amber feathers had the hens swooning and chasing after him like moths to a flame.”
4. Wattle - What really annoys me is how gobblers become conceited over their wattles. Long wattles, found on jerks, resemble a human’s double-chin whereas a short wattle, like mine, will be admired by special hens that aren’t shallow. At least, that’s what my mommy said after Well-Wattled Wallie courted the hen.
“It was hysterical to see the gobbler’s wattle become entangled in the hen’s feathers as they leaned in to nuzzle each other.”
5. Plymouth Rock - While you guys might flock to this historical site just to snap a quick photo, we, turkeys, are repulsed by this slab of rock. It used to be a part of the natural habitat where we roamed freely until those pilgrims tainted it when they arrived in 1620.
“While Plymouth Rock might rock your world, it’s killing our world!”
6. Puritans - If you think pilgrims are a pain in my butt, then you obviously haven’t heard about these ignorant Church-lovers. They came to New England seeking a stricter relgious structure, yet in modern Thanksgivings, most families come together to feast no matter what their religion is.
“The Puritans came to the New World planning to spread their religious views to the Native Americans, but their 3-day Thanksgiving feast side-tracked them thankfully.”
7. Cornucopia - This horn is the unfortunate underdog. This goat horn is filled with an endless supply of food and drinks.
“Invest in a cornucopia, and it will save you lots of money since its way cheaper than a turkey.”
8. Wampanoag - This friendly Native American tribe that inhabited the original Eastern lands of the New World could have easily ignored the pilgrims, but they pitied them so much that they taught them how to grow and gather native food.
“The Patuxet Wampanoag politely ate dinner with the pilgrims without realizing what a tradition they have started.”
9. Massasoit - I’d love to show respect to the leader of the Wampanoag tribe, but I can’t. He is a part of the reason our turkey population is decreasing.
“The Massosit was an honorable man to all before he betrayed the turkeys to help the Pilgrims.”
10. Giblet - Has it become so common for a turkey to die on Thanksgiving that I’ve become used to talking about parts of my body? Well, since I’m already on the subject, I know where my giblets, heart, or gizzard, are going to end up! In the gravy, of course!
“The giblets of the turkey accidentally fell into her soup, yet she slurped all of it up and exclaimed how delicious her soup had tasted.”
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Picture courtesy of HOMESTEAD.COM
Last Updated ( Friday, 04 December 2009 04:27 )
Pallavi: Bugga-Monster on the Academic World
Friday, 04 December 2009 04:15
Oishee Shemontee
Even the best students in AHS are usually content with one, maybe two academic teams. How can we hope to survive the added pressure anything else presents, on top of our already-too-hectic lives? Well, senior Pallavi Bugga proves that it can be done. As co-captain of both Science Olympiad (SO) and Math Team, with seniors Eddie Xue and Sam Wang respectively, as well as a member of Constitution Team, she juggles her schedule with a skill admirable to behold.
As captain of both Math Team and SO, Pallavi’s duties involve twice as much clerical work as regular captains. This responsibility is often overlooked by regular members, but for a captain, it is an ever-present worry. “It's a lot of administrative work, in that we have to write tryouts, grade papers, organize how each meeting is run, decide what to focus on each week, and get general team things in order," she explained. "I think part of being captain is being a few steps ahead of the team-knowing what to cover the next meeting, making sure all our forms are ready and stuff like that."
Although this goes for both teams, because of the logistic differences between Math Team and SO, her role as captain differs somewhat between the two. "For Math Team, the entire team usually works on the same topics and same events, so in that sense Math Team requires perhaps a little less effort on part of the captain," Pallavi reasoned. On the other hand, Math Team does require their captains to understand the topics covered more thoroughly than the rest of the team. "The captains have to be prepared for the team to ask them for help. In my experiences last year, whenever we needed help on a problem... we could always trust the captains to show us how to do a problem." In an effort to help her team as best as she can, Pallavi always tries to "study a little bit extra so that I know I'll be able to help others whenever they need help."
The chain of command for SO is quite different. Since there are 18 different events to choose from in the testing team alone, the topics vary much more than Math Team's, making one-on-one coaching more difficult. Because of this, Pallavi and her co-captain Eddie Xue encourage members to first consult their event leaders before asking the captains. "One of the biggest things we have to do is making sure every event group is staying on task, and that they have all the materials they need for competition," Pallavi states about her duties as SO captain.
Handling two academic teams at once presents no problem at all to Pallavi, who is also a member of Constitution Team. As part of a team that focuses on learning about American democracy, Pallavi focuses specifically on studying the purpose and significance of the Bill of Rights with her fellow Unit 5 members. “The team is super fun, and it gives us incredible knowledge base and awareness of how our political system works”, she enthused.
Pallavi attributes a large amount of her success in school to her family, which has always encouraged her enthusiasm for academics. “Seeing my brother do well through his high school and college career made me want to be able to catch up to him. I guess whatever I do I want to make my parents proud, and that's definitely been a significant source of my motivation.”
Last Updated ( Friday, 04 December 2009 04:17 )
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Need $cholarships?
Friday, 04 December 2009 03:43
Christopher Chen
We all know about different scholarships. There are scholarships ranging from athletic scholarships to academic scholarships all college applicants hope to attain. But have you heard of a scholarship for tall people or sweet tooths? Well, here are some scholarships that may amuse you.
Tall Club International Scholarship
Do people have to look up to speak to you? Do you have to bend over to fit through doorways? If so, you may qualify for the Tall Club International’s scholarship. Tall Club International’s (TCI) purpose is to “promote tall awareness among tall men and women, and in the community.” The TCI will give a scholarship of $1,000 to men at least 6’2” and women 5’10” (candidates must be under 21 and plan to attend college in the fall).
Little People of America Scholarship
In sharp contrast to the TCI, the Little People of America (LPA) provides for the vertically challenged people of society. With members at a maximum of 4’10”, the TCI offers $250 to $1000 to people diagnosed with a form of dwarfism and members of TCI with direct family members who are dwarfs.
Duck Brand Duct Tape Stuck at Prom Contest
Duct tape is famous for its versatility, but can it help get you into college? The Duck Brand Duct Tape Stuck at Prom Contest gives out scholarships up to $3,000 to a couple attending their high school prom wearing an outfit entirely composed of duct tape (and $3,000 to the school). The entry must contain a color picture of the attendees and will be based on the originality, creativity, and color of the design.
Vegetarian Resource Group
For most avid vegetarians, it is hard to get gratifying results in persuading others to give up their meaty habits. For any “Lisa Simpsons” out there, there is a scholarship for your dedication to veggy greens. The non-profit organization Vegetarian Resource Group is giving out scholarships to graduating U.S. high school students who promote vegetarianism in their high school or community. With the benefit of an anonymous donation, the group can award two $5,000 scholarships a year. Entries for classes of spring 2010 must apply by Feb 20 2010.
American Association of Candy Technology
Are you a sweet tooth? The American Association of Candy Technology (AACT) offers $5,000 to high school students who have demonstrated interest in confectionery technology (candy technology by any other name). The applicant must plan to enroll in a four-year college in North America and major in food science, chemical science, biological science, or a related area with a 3.0 GPA.Among the toils of academics and college applications, some of the more distinct scholarships are easily overlooked. Scoring one of these scholarships would no doubt be highly beneficial to a student’s wallet.
Last Updated ( Friday, 04 December 2009 04:03 )
A Well-Calculated Win
Friday, 04 December 2009 00:59
Oishee Shemontee
Add a few math whizzes, integrate the spirit of teamwork, exponentially increase the fun, and you’ll be presented with the members of AHS’s very own Math Team! Composed of members of every grade, this award-winning team focuses on learning and applying their skills in the field of mathematics, ranging from geometry to calculus and beyond.Ever since the final member selections made early in October, Math Team members have been diligently attending meetings every Wednesday afternoon in P-2. "We've got a great team this year, and we're expecting great things from them”, commented Ms. King, their adviser. Their long hours of preparation paid off at their first tournament of the year, the Bay Math League meet at Long Beach Poly on Nov. 18. AHS’s mathematicians completely dominated the competition, placing first with 303 points, beating runner-up San Marino by 15 points. “We are really happy with the team this year, and we have high hopes for them. Hopefully this year we’ll regain our title of first in the League”, said captain Pallavi Bugga optimistically.
Two years ago, Math Team won first place in League, and although their third place ranking from last year is still quite impressive, it seems like this year they have their eyes set on the gold once again. Although the Bay Math League is Math Team’s main competition, most members also choose to participate in the American Mathematics Competition (AMC). Unlike Bay Math League, the AMC mandates individual entries only, and pits members against each other as well as against the rest of the nation. The Bay Math League, on the other hand, requires teams of ten members. The entire tournament is divided up into four meets throughout the year, the next one to be held on Jan. 13 at San Marino High School. Math Team also attends optional tournaments like Math Day at Pepperdine (held at Pepperdine College) and Math Day at the Beach (held at Cal State Long Beach). At this point, with their year off to a good start and hopefully many more triumphs to look forward to, it looks like Math Team just needs a pencil and some good preparation for League domination.
Last Updated ( Friday, 04 December 2009 03:24 )
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